If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
