I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
