So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
