i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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