she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
