so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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