I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Too much gin, very little bucket
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My bed smells like the plague
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
