If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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