i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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