guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
