i permit you to call me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
