I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
