I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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