I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
