this just has baby written all over it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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