The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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