I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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