He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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