...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize