I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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