Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
