remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Damn victory sex feels great
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
