Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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