Why are handjobs necessary in class?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
