I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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