Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
