I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
