don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
