We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
