I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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