I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
