I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
