I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
