I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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