Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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