found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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