Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize