it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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