i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
