What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize