Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
