Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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