I can't watch pbs sober anymore
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
