I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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