can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dicks are not precious.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize