Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I queefed so loud it echoed.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
