i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
