Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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