I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
