Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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