96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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