I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize