Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
