I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
