I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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