omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
