Where is the hickey?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
