you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We're too hungover to prance.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
