It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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