we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Still dying that you shit outside
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
