After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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