i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
