i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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