My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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