Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
