Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am one with the molecules
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
