I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
