I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize