Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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