I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Randomize
