it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
