so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
