my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
