I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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