please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
